08.Belief and Religion.

This promises to be a difficult post to write. In fact, I was so unsure of whether to even write it or not, I asked the advice of friends from both sides of this particular fence. A young, good friend (my muse, if you will) finally convinced me that it was indeed worthy of an effort. If you're easily (or even not so easily) offended by another's religion, or lack thereof, you might want to skip this altogether. While I do apologize if you find this offensive, I do not apologize for my own personal beliefs. My intent is never to offend, but this subject can sometimes have an offending affect on some. Please, don't read between the lines, there is nothing there, implied or otherwise. I'll write this in two parts, separating belief in one or more deity from religion. While the two are intrinsically intertwined, they are, in my mind, separate parts of one subject.

BELIEF.

So, how to begin...I'll just blurt it out here and go forward from there. I am an atheist. There, I said it. The "a" word. For many it is chock full of negative connotations, but for my purpose its only meaning is I don't believe in a "higher being." In our society, due to a perceived attached stigma, not many will openly admit to atheism. From my personal experience, religious folk are sometimes not terribly accepting of atheists and atheism. As a rule I don't flaunt my lack of beliefs, rather I just exist in the background when religion enters the conversation. I recall a time at work where it came out to a coworker that I was atheist, within fifteen minutes another coworker was in my work station asking questions, criticizing, going so far as to accuse me of devil worshipping. Sigh. By very definition, being an atheist means that I don't believe in a satan any more than I believe in a god. Just couldn't seem to get that through. Some of you are perhaps raising an eyebrow when I don't capitalize "god" or "satan", remember, those words have less meaning to me than to you. (I do find it interesting that my autocorrect tries to capitalize the word satan, but not the word god.)

How did I become an atheist? From my earliest memories on the subject I don't recall ever believing in a god. As a child growing up on the outskirts of Pittsburgh I can remember all six of us kids piling in the VW bus with our parents on Sunday morning for the trip to the Unitarian church where we were introduced to many different religions: Christianity, Buddhism, etc. These were all interesting in their own way, but I never felt a connection to any standard set of beliefs. Stories of miracles made them all seem works of fiction, even to my young mind back then. In the mid-60s my family moved to Lincoln, Illinois, and I made new friends in the 'hood. One of the questions often asked (after "Are you a Cub fan or Card fan") was "What church do you go to?" Apparently this small town had deep religious roots. The other kids could rattle off beliefs, sins, how to get to heaven, etc. I found this peculiar. I became good friends with many, but still felt a little awkwardness in religious context. In the summer many kids would go to vacation bible school, and it seemed I was getting regular invites to join. I did attend several times, but I always felt an outsider, not really comfortable studying and learning biblical things that made little or no sense to me.

I was (and still am) always respectful of the others' beliefs, and will quietly sit through their prayers, all the while wondering why this god would only find saving a life (or healing the ill, or blessing a meal, or helping a sports team win, etc.) worthy if he was politely asked to do so. In fact, I feel an inner awkward silence when I'm asked to pray for someone. Prayer request seems to be a common Facebook occurrence, and it feels as though there is an implication that I don't care if a person lives or dies if I don't respond to such a request. This could not be further from the truth. I care, but it would be a lie for me to pray. Rest assured I do send positive mental energy.

What do I believe? I'm not sure if this is a belief, but from my observations, generally speaking, good things happen to good people, so Karma fits in with my experiences. I believe that this life we lead here is all there is for us. We spend our time on this planet doing what we choose, and then, it's done. Over. I just can't imagine an afterlife. I firmly believe in evolution, not creationism. I believe this world and universe are vastly older than the 6,000 odd years some believe.

I've often been asked how can I know good from bad, right from wrong, how can I be moral if I don't follow the bible, and why, if I don't believe in heaven, would I bother to do the right thing. I believe that the vast majority of people have an innate sense of right and wrong, although the difference between the two is often not so black and white. Why then, would I do the right thing? Simply because it's the right thing to do. I don't need a promise of some reward in the future to do what's right. Don't get me wrong, there are many good examples of how we should treat each other in the bible, but I was generally aware of these before I was aware of what the bible said.

Religious language, or language that would be religious if uttered by a religious person, is often a part of my daily speaking. If you hear me utter "goddammit", I'm not asking a deity to smite something, I'm most likely expressing my frustration with a situation, usually something of my own doing. Likewise, if you sneeze and I say "bless you," don't think of it as an actual blessing. Rather, think of it as me fulfilling my societal expectoration expectations. (On a similar note, if I say "F-U", I'm not expressing interest in a sexual encounter, I'm expressing my disrespect for something you did or said.)

I'm not sure if this sufficiently explains my beliefs, but it's a start, anyway.

RELIGION

Religion, a touchy subject. I'll attempt to mostly write in generalities, but there are some instances in which a particular faith may stand alone. I'm trying to not single any of those out, but it's perhaps unavoidable in some cases. Admittedly, I know little about most religions, but from what I read and see, religion has little to no relevance for me. Yes, I occasionally attend a service at our local Unitarian church, but if you don't know, there is really little that some would call "religion" in that denomination. I honestly can't recall the last time anything from the bible was even mentioned in a service there. I highly recommend you visit them if you are at all curious.

It seems to me (and I could be quite mistaken in this) that for many, going to church is their way to ensure a passage through the pearly gates. What sort of narcissistic entity is this god that requires a lifetime of prayer, hymns, worship, atonement, etc in order to join his (or her) club at life's end? And then there's the fact that throughout the ages this entity has almost exclusively been depicted as a wise old bearded white man. Why old? Why white? Why male? Why even does he have human form?

The fish. You've seen it, I've seen it, and it doesn't bother me when you use it to display your faith. Put it on your car, your home, wherever you deem appropriate. But...it does bother me to see it used in advertising. I see it on billboards, in newspaper ads, etc, and it seems to me that some business owners use this for their financial gain, in the hope that some like minded folks would prefer that their plumber spend his Sunday mornings the same way that they do. Besides the fact that I doubt that a Christian plumber would have any higher insight how to unclog my drain than a secular one, it just feels wrong to me that one would use his or her faith for profit.

I've been told, rather bluntly at work, that if I don't consider myself a Christian that I should not get the same holidays off as the "good Christians" do. (Their words, not mine.) So I don't deserve the same number of days off in a year simply because I don't follow their religion? Is my time off less important than theirs? I'll be the first to admit that I'm one of those who wishes you "happy holidays," but I'm not taking part in a war on religion or Christmas, if such a thing even exists. Happy holidays means just that. I want you to enjoy your holidays. I'm not belittling your religious beliefs.

Just to clarify, I'm not completely against religion. I have many close friends who are very religious. Some very good things have been accomplished in the name of religion. Amazingly beautiful works of art have been created. Incredible people have done incredible things. Some of the old cathedrals in europe leave me stunned with their grandeur. Sadly though, there are also some churches  that I find garish in their opulence. Unfortunately some terrible atrocities have been done in the name of religion as well.

There is one area of believing in which I am envious of religious people. Death. For me one's passing is an incredibly sad occasion. The end of a life is always profoundly sobering to me. I struggle to deal with a close one's passing, and funeral services almost always leave me in tears. Religious people, on the other hand, have their afterlife to anticipate. I've many times heard at a funeral that he or she is going to a better place, or that heaven is getting a good one here. Sometimes I envy that bit of comfort that so many of you enjoy.

And then there's the bible (or koran, or whichever holy book is your choice). Any discussion of religion is incomplete without mention of the bible. I once referred to this book as "the textbook of christian mythology." All too many of the stories in this book contain miracles, which I've always questioned. As I stated previously, this book absolutely has many good guidelines for one's daily conduct: don't murder, don't steal, etc., but it also has some rather archaic suggestions for one's life. Perhaps my least favorite aspect regarding the bible is the tendency of some folks to pick and choose which parts to follow, and the tendency to take some of those passages out of context. And don't get me started on that group from Kansas who twists the bible's meaning to fit its own hateful agenda.

So there you have it. My thoughts and feelings on deities and the worship of them. I hope you find this as inoffensive as it is intended, I further hope this gives you a little better insight as to what makes Mick tick. I know this subject is a deeply personal one for many, and this is not intended to persuade any readers to change, just as I'd appreciate no one trying to change my thoughts.  Rest assured I'll never pass judgment on another for his or her faith or religion,  I only write this in an attempt to explain my views.

Now I'll go check the number of Facebook friends I have and see how many I lose.

Thanks for reading!